The Walkabout

NOTE:
This post is the second in my 3-part Valentines Day series, that seeks to take a different approach to Love and Valentines. The first one was Human Becoming: Practical Steps to Self Respect and Compassionate Relationships.

“There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance – that principle is contempt prior to investigation.”
- Herbert Spencer

Michelangelo's David

Late last year, I watched Jonathan Haidt’s TED Talk about Objectivity and the Moral Matrix.
His talk inspired a blog post on The Walkabout.

Nudity or Art?

Weeks later, I uploaded this photo on Facebook, and a “good friend” whom I’ve known for years promptly reprimanded me by way of a phone call and a comment on Facebook. His words [not ad verbum] were as follows:

“Pete you can surely do better. I am very ashamed to say the least…”

Well, I had no words for this guy. The fact that he was deeply offended by artwork, and chose to see nudity instead of art, makes me wonder what he’d say if he saw Michelangelo’s David [above].

Talking about Sex

“The books the world calls immoral
are the books that show the world its shame.”
- C S Lewis

Apparently, the human condition is such that we prefer to look at only one side of the coin. We usually choose to see what is bad, salacious or compromising.

Thing is, sometimes we are so deeply corrupted that we cannot tell that we are compromised in the first instance, let alone reckon to what extent.

When I was in Campus, a certain friend was shocked to see me reading Eric Griffin-Shelley’s book ‘Sex and Love: Addiction, Treatment and Recovery’. She loudly wondered why I would be reading such a book if I wasn’t a recovering addict. She however changed her mind after she read several pages of the book.

Sex & Love: Addiction, Treatment and Recovery

You can in fact read this book at Questia.

Being Open-Minded

This post should prepare you for what we shall be looking at on Wednesday: Sex and Love Addiction.

Many of us would rather not even think about their sex lives and relationships, always reaching for the private, personal and similar cards whenever these topics are raised.

As Valentines Day approaches we need to be open minded and see ourselves for what we really are. Now is the time to sit ourselves down and take a more searching and serious look at our relationships.

You’re be surprised at how much you’ve been wallowing in a miasma of deceit and self righteousness. Now is the time to get out of this quagmire.

Next, we take a look at The Sex and Love Addiction Quagmire – A Cautionary Tale

“Once awareness is free,
intent will redirect it into a new evolutionary path.”
- Carlos Castaneda

Human Becoming by David Richo

Well, I have always believed in Learning and Sharing. Because only then can we individually and collectively become better persons, by positively affecting the lives of those we interact with.

That said, I recently downloaded a very profound eBook by one Dr. David Richo [no relations].

The book is titled “Human Becoming. Practical Steps to Self-Respect and Compassionate Relationships” It is in fact a collection of excerpts from his many books and manuscripts.

Dr Richo introduces the book this way:

“We are put on earth a little space,
That we may learn to bear the beams of love.”
– William Blake

It is my considered opinion that you’ll find this book worthwhile.
After reading the Introduction, I am so looking forward to reading the rest of the book.

Following is an excerpt of the Introduction:

FIRST THINGS FIRST

“There is a grace-full force in us and in the universe. It is a lively energy that is always at work so that we will become fully human. To be fully human is to be as loving as we can be, as free of ego fear and clinging, and as generous as we can be with our innate gifts and talents. This takes psychological work on ourselves and a spiritual practice. When we are committed to such a program, we feel joy and self-respect because we are fulfilling our deepest purpose in life.”

PRACTICAL STEPS

“Practical steps are about doing things in new ways. But doing is not the whole picture. We are also receiving graces that assist us. We become fully human not by our efforts alone but also by the assistance of a higher power than our ego that complements our psychological work and our spiritual practice. Abundant grace is surrounding us right now and can be trusted to help us cross our next bridge or threshold.”

The chapters are as follows:

Who we really are
Our personal purpose and calling
In the house of the healthy psyche
Dialoguing with the inner critic
Building self-respect and lovingkindness
The givens of life: the things we cannot change
The f.a.c.e. of ego
Befriending our shadow
How to s.e.e.
The cradling technique
Freedom from fears: an inventory and affirmations
Working with abandonment and engulfment fears
Handling our loneliness
Standing alone at the edge of the void
A checklist on boundaries in relationship
Conflict vs. drama
Anger or abuse?
No more punishing or placating
Releasing guilt and forgiveness
When our feelings are hurt
Love and control
Pausing to find our space
Mindfulness
Love as a practice
Lovingkindness
Egoless love
Fate or destiny?
Wholeness within
Unconditional love
Conclusion: What makes us human

Get the eBook

If you’d like a free copy of this eBook, download it from David Richo’s web site.
It’s in PDF format [684KB], 98 pages.

I bet many of you will find this is a most valuable book, now that Valentines Day is just around the corner.

“We were brought here for a purpose, for a reason
All of us, each one of us was brought here for a reason
…It may be hard for the others to accept
But everything happens for a reason.”
- John Locke (LOST s05e07 – The Life and Death of Jeremy Bentham)

Note:
All this week, posts on The Walkabout focus on life lessons that have been directly inspired by LOST. Read previous LOST-inspired posts here and here.

The Walkabout

John Locke in the Jungle

On 2nd February 2010, the sixth season of LOST will begin airing. This compelling TV show is my personal favorite, and plays a central role in this blog.
‘The Walkabout’ was accordingly named after the Lost season 1 episode 4 (Walkabout) in which flashbacks of John Locke’s life detailed his plans to go on an original aboriginal walkabout in Australia.

Despite being a paraplegic, Locke was determined to go on his walkabout, and insisted that he could do it, a belief he repeatedly and loudly emphasized with the words:

Don’t tell me what I can’t do.

Destiny

The word destiny has a dual meaning, one that is either predicated on fate or purpose.

Fate: Destiny may refer to somebody’s preordained future, a series of predetermined and inevitable events that happen to somebody.

Purpose: Destiny may also refer to the inner purpose of life that can be discovered and realized.

Those who resign their lives to fate eventually find their destiny. Apparently, things just happen and eventually, they often find themselves in situations they’d rather not be in.

On the other hand, those who actively seek to live their lives by making the most of every opportunity also realize their purpose. They meet their objectives, realize their goals and certainly get to willfully shape their destiny.

Human Nature

Human nature is such that we err, and often fall short of our expectations. In fact, our “great” expectations have a way of selling us short. Usually, the unexpected does change our lives. As espoused in the premiere episode of LOST season 5, the character of people is such that…

…they come, they fight, they destroy, they corrupt
it always ends the same.

The Way Ahead

Despite all this, we do have the free will to change our destiny… for the simple reason that we think, we reason and can make choices.

Perhaps then, we can begin to see that we can challenge ourselves and discover the reason for our being. That done, we can then learn from the past, make the most of the here and now, and consequently face the future with confidence to realize our purpose.

What if we find ourselves being held back by what has happened in the past? What if the consequences of our past actions have already messed a significant part of our lives?

Well, this is a timely question, even as we look back at the resolutions and fleeting promises many of us made early this year but have not yet lived up to.

Thankfully, LOST is not devoid of answers for such questions:

…it only ends once
Anything that happens before that, is progress

Now is the time to move ahead, with the full knowledge that everything happens for a reason. Whatever has happened before is just a part of a bigger whole, of progress. We are in repair – not together, but getting there.

We can therefore go right ahead.

This February, may we exercise our free will and realize our inner purpose of life.

“You’ve gotta make your own kind of music
Sing your own special song
Make your own kind of music
Even if nobody else sings along.”
- Mama Cass Elliot

Inspiration from LOST

All this week, we are featuring posts that are inspired by the TV Show LOST. The final Season of LOST premieres on February 2nd.

Make Your Own Kind of Music

Today, we examine how one can define their own success and thereby make their own kind of music.

Make Your Own Kind of Music by Mama Cass Elliot

Mama Cass Elliot’s Make Your Own Kind of Music has been featured on several episodes of LOST, mainly in Season 2. Read more about this song on Lostpedia.

Following are the song lyrics:

Nobody can tell ya
There’s only one song worth singing
They may try and sell ya
Cause it hangs them up to see someone like you

But you’ve gotta make your own kind of music
Sing your own special song
Make your own kind of music
Even if nobody else sings along

You’re gonna be nowhere
The loneliest kind of lonely
It may be rough going
Just to do your thing’s the hardest thing to do

But you’ve gotta make your own kind of music
Sing your own special song
Make your own kind of music
Even if nobody else sings along

So if you cannot take my hand
And if you must be going
I will understand

You’ve gotta make your own kind of music
Sing your own special song
Make your own kind of music
Even if nobody else sings along

You’ve gotta make your own kind of music
Sing your own special song
Make your own kind of music

The above lyrics and artist names are copyrighted to Mama Cass Elliot. They appear  here for educational and personal use only.

Defining Your Sucess – a kinder, gentler philosophy

Alain de Botton gave a very insightful talk at TED:

Watch this talk, download the video and read viewer/reader reactions on the TED web site.

He examines our ideas of success and failure… and questions the assumptions underlying these two judgments. Is success always earned? Is failure?

Alain eventually makes an eloquent, witty case to move beyond snobbery to find true pleasure in our work. This too was outlined by Steve Jobs during his Stanford commencement address.

Ready to Shape Your OWN Destiny?

In a world that is increasingly shaped by popular opinion, many find themselves living other people’s dreams and constantly succumb to what is acceptable by many.

When they don’t measure up to what society defines as success, a lot of people get frustrated.

This should not be the case, if only we would become more decisive and seek to live purpose-driven, fulfilling lives.

So, go out and do whatever you love doing passionately, be very successful in it. Be all that you can be. It depends on you after all.

“…can’t change the past. Can’t do it. Whatever happened, happened.
We’re the variables. People. We think. We reason. We make choices. We have free will. We can change our destiny.”
- Daniel Faraday (LOST s05ep14, The Variable)

LOST

I begin today’s post by proudly confessing that I’m a Lostie (an ardent fan of the TV Series LOST). In fact, this entire blog was inspired by LOST. Specifically, Matthew Abaddon’s challenge that John Locke go on a walkabout – a journey of self discovery. All this happened in Season 4 episode 11 [Cabin Fever]. Read The Walkabout’s first post here.

LOST is a very compelling drama which has won awards and kept fans all over the world watching, thinking and discussing the show’s rich content. Depending on how you look at it, there is quite a lot to learn from LOST.

This week on The Walkabout, we shall feature posts directly inspired by LOST, as we await the highly anticipated LOST Season 6 premier on February 2, 2009.

The Variable

Our lead quote is from the LOST season 5 episode 14 episode, The Variable. This episode focuses on Daniel Faraday’s quest to avert a catastrophic event on the Island. Knowing that a release of massive energy at the Swan Station would trigger the events that would ultimately lead to the disappearance of Flight 815, Daniel decides to prevent this from happening by detonating a hydrogen bomb.

Daniel Farady (LOST)

Minutes before Faraday died, he tells Jack Shepherd the following:

Daniel Faraday: But… we can change that. I studied relativistic physics my entire life. One thing emerged over and over …can’t change the past. Can’t do it. Whatever happened, happened. All right? But then I finally realized… I had been spending so much time focused on the constants, I forgot about the variables. Do you know what the variables in these equations are, Jack?
Jack Shepherd: No.
Faraday: Us. We’re the variables. People. We think. We reason. We make choices. We have free will. We can change our destiny.

The above dialogue is in the following video:

It should be noted that before going to the island, Daniel Faraday suffered severe psychological problems. In fact, he had lost his mental acuity and lived with a caretaker.

Shaping an Uncertain Destiny

Admittedly, we cannot alter the past. What is in the past has already happened, and therefore cannot change.

Just like Daniel Faraday, we spend too much time in our lives focusing on and trying to change “constants” – things that are bound to remain the same.

It is instructive that we change that which we can and ought to, only then can we realize our objectives and realize our goals.

We do have the free will to make decisions that will ultimately shape our destiny. Now is the time to do the needful.

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